MessyMayhem Mission Statement

Purveyor of videos and photos of messy girls, wet and messy fun and slimy silliness featuring gallons of gunge.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

A weekend's shooting

It's been a long time.... we've had a lick of paint too. Hope you like the new look to conincide with out 15th Episode! So the usual foresaking of things I usually do on an Easter Weekend, in the name of artisitically and strategically redistrubuting natrasol onto and around the female form.

So a brief diary, with some pics from our burgeoning twitter feed @messymayhemcom that we did over the weekend....


5:55am. There should be laws against that time. Muggins gets up, indulge in some shaving foam in the face and some naked wetlook.... thats shower and shave, and packs the car ready on the steady assualt up north.

7:30 am Wagons roll, drink in cup holder, chewy on the passenger seat, CD's primed and Radio 1 on the first easy part of the journey. Now I always stop at Cribbs Causeway, and have a wonder round the Asda, get some fuel and get some fuel for the driver too. Double Sausage Egg McMuffin please slightly cute burger operative lass, chomp chomp, on the road, next stop, Lady Jessica of Messica's
10:30 am
In a sleepy village in the South Midlands somewhere, I roll in to the stately plush surroundings of the world of Messy Jessie. Why, to reclaim The Scouse One's white backcloth in the name of Messymayhem and all who sail in it, because we did another shoot with Messy Jessie back in November. The results of that will be coming up soon folks. Anyways, whilst taking advantage of Jessie's lovely and hospitable nature, I spied that some gunge was prepared. I enquired if she was shooting... and lo she was, and needed a hand! So my handy cameraman skills were put to the test with Jessie and Lacey, once we got motivated, the sun in the garden was awesome.

The end result was of course....

...which is also available at Messy Jessie's site

4:00 pm

After dropping Lacey home, I set on my merry way. I got 2 junctions down and then it happened, the dreaded M6 curse that befalls every journey to Scouseland. Only this time, it started on the M5. The lovely Sally Traffic on Radio 2 told me that Junctions 10-13 of the M6 were shut due to a smash, and it was queued back to Junction 8 where I joined it. She was wrong. Back to junction 4A of the M5 I queued. 4 then 3, then 2, then 1 and I was jammed right up, and chuck in Birmingham rush hour too...I was gently overheating, my drink had run out and my chewing gum was going in a pack at a time. The bit past Stoke on Trent is full of nob ends, who simply can't drive, stop start stop start, have a gawk at the broken down Focus, or look at the bigger nob ends the Traffic Highway officers, who shut a lane to remove a crisp packet. Now simmering and at around 7pm, I get to Sandbach Services, go for a power pee, grab a drink and a sandwich and the Scouse One rings. I say 7:30 he says 8:00, I rock up at 7:45. Fortunately, our local favourite BBW, Cuddly Jojo, turns up to help set up. Since the last time, major refurbs had taken place in Chez Scouse, a slightly heavier sofa being one of them, but all was set up and after a trip to ASDA and Tesco and a quick beer, bed called.

Good Friday was started off badly by a particularly chirpy insomniac blackbird at 3 in the morning. I would have crucified it! Shower first to become human, a warm Ribena to kick start, with a Redbull and Orange juice chaser. Bring forth those buckets! Now the first lot of goo was made from stuff designated for the aborted October one when the Scouse one had the lurgi! It took some stirring and blitzing with the blender. With gunge mixed, and primed, we were ready to rumble! Despite a few sat nav problems, Shay Hendrix turned up
and adopted her Zen position, and tweeted to the fellow model Jess West who was our second model to "hurry up bitch cos i wanna gunge ya". Jess was experiencing the same M6 probs as I was...
Eventually we got going.... now never let a good idea pass, and well Shay had a good idea for our first game... the game of hangman. Lets take that long welsh place name, she'll never get that, says the mischievous Miss Hendrix..... It has 57 letters

Now there are 26 letters in the alphabet Shay.... An epic 30 minute game ensued, and well, it didn't work too good. Short term memory must be hard when you are in demand like Jess and Shay, so the repetition competition was short to catch up. And a hatred for a town in the East Midlands became apparent when Shay failed!

Next came "In My Pants" with Shay and Jess getting stuff in their pants...

Following a spot of triggerword action and then a new end game, where the Queen decided, it was time for the two legends to go home, and for clean up one to commence.

The evening after followed with beer, tweeting Mesdammes West and Hendrix, to which we have lots of new followers, thanks girls... Oh and another calzonne, which is something you don't get down my way! We also discovered that our paddling pool was starting to die....


After a quick jaunt down to Tesco for more bin liners, it was time for shoot number 2. This was to be split into 2 bits.. a two girl shoot with returnee (and star of Episode 15) Candie and the lovely Nati who was new to us, but had dabbled in goo before. Nati has been a Soccerette on Sky's Soccer AM, (bringing our total Soccerette's to 2 - Sapphire was one also) and she is a fully trained referee also (booooooooooooooooooo) and a proud member of Ollie's Tangerine Army, Blackpool FC. After discussing the finer points of the offside rule, the merits of Keys/Gray, and Ian Holloway's post match interviews we got started. It was a nightmare journey for her, cars breaking down, jobsworth train stewards, missing not one, but 2 trains, tears on the platform, and a mercy dash by her boyfriend meant she could come and play. I am glad for one she did! A real trooper!

After a spot of 2 girl action, it was time to unleash Annabelle back into the fold. The Scouse one was doing a non wam shoot with her, and she was talking about how she hadn't been in our pool lately, and she even developed a game for us. So we got her to host it, and unbeknown, we got the girls to give her an apprasial of her game.

The other game Annabelle invented was Rock Paper Scissors Xtreme or XRPS as its now known! Now again, everytime there was a draw, Annabelle got it. Biased against her, just a tad, but she has got cheeky. She called me bald!

After Nati got home without hiccup and Candie returned to Yorkshire, Annabelle felt obliged to come for a curry with us, which was nice. We found out she is an ubergeek and was hoping to look out for the Spacestation flypass, needless to say we spent most of the time waiting for the train doing rather bad Professor Brian Cox impersinations.


A nice break meant footage review, video capture and a nice walk round the Wirral, or as Shay called it "a man date". Trying to resurrect the pool with a foot pump seemed to work, and the whole re-rig was unrushed! Our next model gave us a phonecall, and the Scouse one tried to do a Bristol accent and failed miserably!


The diagonsis was poor, the pool was dead, but it was to have one last blast. Returning was the cheeky Shay who spent the Sunday drinking from the biggest wine glass known to man. Also joining us was Katie, from Bristol, and she was lovely.

We have never, ever, had a model say "thank you" after being gunged, at least not one being sarcastic anyways. A childhood ambition fulfilled, and genuinely happy at the prospect of being gunged. Numerous fun games followed, and well she left happy, despite having to share the journey home with me, and we scooped the pool out in record time!

Still we had a laugh at Keele KFC, when every football coach in the land converged. It was nom nom, but word to the wise, don't let a model give you directions, especially on low fuel and in the middle of Brizzle!

The final word of the weekend must go to our much beloved pool de paddle, which went to the great WAM shoot in the sky. 25 Girls gunged in it, some huge names. RIP cos of a r.i.p.

God speed good pool, you served us well....

Til the next one....


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