MessyMayhem Mission Statement

Purveyor of videos and photos of messy girls, wet and messy fun and slimy silliness featuring gallons of gunge.

Sunday, 8 May 2011

New Look. New Episode....

Howdy dudey folks....

Like the new look, well we thought it was time for a spring clean, and a change is as good as a rest...

Right.... Episode 15.... is here. It stars Yorkshire lass Candie who had starred previously on Messyangel and from the Potteries, Layla!

Now Candie jumped at the chance to join with us, even so when crisis befell our shoot went tits up. We rescheduled it for the following day, and she was totally fine.

All we needed was a replacement. Now when choosing models, the Scouse One has a list of approachables... this truly was one of the funniest profiles we have ever read.

"Hello, I'm Layla and I'm a model.

I've got a great rack and a cracking arse, which is a good job because I'm as thick as two short planks, with the personality of a pair of socks.

If I can say 'model' instead of summat right boring when people ask me what I do, I'll be able to shag loads of footballers and even marry one like that Posh Spice did, which would be pure dead brilliant.

All my photographs are heavily photoshopped and at least five years old. I have had nine kids since then, and my Excma has sadly returned. I'm a good fifteen pounds heavier than I'm letting on, but it doesn't matter because I probably won't bother to turn up anyway. Especially if I'm up the duff again.

I give a mathematically impossible twelve million percent on each and every shoot, and of course I am bubbly to the point that you will probably want to strangle me and dump me in a wheelie-bin.

I speak fluent text. If you're lucky I might even send you one half an hour before our scheduled shoot to lie about why I can't be arsed to turn up.

Obviously you're all falling over yourselves to book me now. My boyfriend/manager tells me it's been made illegal for topless models to handle their own business affairs, so all bookings must go through him. He will accompany me to all shoots to glower menacingly at you, especially if you look at my boobs.

It says I don't do adult, but if you tip enough Lambrini down my neck or tell me you're a bit famous I'll do bestiality, necrophilia and fisting. Only if you promise not to publish it though."

So we dropped her a mail, and she replied.... "I've been waiting to do one of these shoots for years"!

With models ready to go, and a crisis averted, both mine and Scouse's batteires were recharged and we were ready to go.

Episode 15 Part 1 - Don't Laugh....

So for our first part of this new Episode sees Candie take on the impossible challenge of Don't Laugh Or You Will Lose, a game which has yet to claim a victor! Would she be poker faced or will she guffaw at the first opportunity......

With the humour of Layla, she didn't stand a chance now did she.....

Coming very soon to the download store.....

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